


in bloom

by bluexshift



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, Izzy and Jace mentioned but not present, M/M, it's like canon with extra toppings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21978802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluexshift/pseuds/bluexshift
Summary: Soulmates exist - but not for Magnus Bane.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 13
Kudos: 262
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories, The Malec Secret Santa - Edition 2019





	in bloom

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written for skullgirl808 on Tumblr as part of the Malec Secret Santa!
> 
> As ever, you can find me on Twitter at aglightwoodbane - less so these days, but I'm there sometimes.

It is a universally accepted truth that all humans have soulmates.

They can be platonic, romantic, or even antagonistic; some have marks, or words, or initials on their skin; they can be present from birth or appear when two fated souls meet – or worse, when they part. Whatever the circumstance, all humans have them, though whether you meet is purely up to chance.

In the Shadow World, however, it’s… less so.

It’s not impossible for half-human hybrids to have soulmates – they are, after all, half-human. The fae, as angel and demon, don’t, nor does it bother them in the slightest. Nephilim have a higher rate than most species, owing to their angel blood, but it’s still not guaranteed, hence the parabatai bond – much like their very creation, why let nature run its course when you can force it into shape?

With werewolves and vampires, former humans, it’s slightly more traumatic. Vampires always lose their bond whether formed or not, given they have, in fact, died – however, if a connection has already formed, it’s possible for it to be restored in the first 24 hours after resurrection with a powerful enough warlock.

Magnus has attended more re-bonding rituals than he can count, at this point. But sue him; he’s powerful, and a romantic.

Werewolves have a sixty percent chance of losing theirs due to the demonic infection & mutation; those cannot be restored. Those who are lucky and keep them are strongly warned not to flaunt this.

And warlocks? Their chance of having a potential bond is one-in-a-thousand. For the children of Princes of Hell, it’s an impossibility.

Magnus had been fascinated by the concept of soulmates as a child. His mother had Javanese edelweiss adorning one of her hips, running up and over into the small of her back – it had been buds, she explained, until it had blossomed upon meeting a young and handsome foreigner at a Jayakartan market stall.

His father was harsh on him sometimes, always pushing him to do and be better, but Magnus was glad that he loved his mama, that they were soulmates, even if sometimes it felt like his papa didn’t seem to be that invested in Magnus’s own life.

Even much, much later in life, the idea that they had been soulmates that had defied the odds at the time by crossing half the world to meet, and that Magnus’s very existence had caused their partnerships’ tragic end, was one that hounded him in his darker moments.

Asmodeus, posing as a father who loved him, was the one to tell him he would never have a soulmate and why. Magnus, who had still been barely 10 at the time, had been brought to tears by the loss of something he’d wanted so desperately – prompting Asmodeus to become truly angry at him for the first time.

Magnus, who also wanted desperately to not make his father angry at him again, never mentioned soulmates, instead pouring his energy into fulfilling his fathers’ wishes.

But that never stopped him wishing, or lamenting on alcohol-filled evenings, alone in wherever he was currently calling home.

He did come to learn that any relationships he pursued, no matter what type, were in no way inferior for his lack of a soulmate – he was, after all, not alone in this. He made friends, made rivals, took lovers and paramours and taught himself to live in the moment.

He couldn’t help, however, the fear whenever a romantic relationship began to develop deeper than surface-level attraction, the constant fear that his partner would leave him for their own soulmate one day. It was a different fear than the one that others would leave him for who he was, or what he’d done – both of those he could cover up, could change himself for the benefit of his partner and hope that that would make him actually _become_ better. This was something he couldn’t change.

Camille, in wreaking her havoc on his heart, at least stopped him feeling that way – simply because he refused to allow himself to feel anything.

But oh, how he felt anyway.

Alexander had been a revelation. Four hundred years and he was continually surprised by him; a _Shadowhunter_ in his early-mid-twenties redefining values Magnus’d held since he was barely a century old; a man who’s very core was burning bright with passion and justice that his people and culture had tried desperately to smother.

Being with Alexander… it hadn’t _fixed_ Magnus, hadn’t solved all his traumas and anxieties, but for every new one it dredged up it seemed to soothe two. Magnus was meant to love – and here was this impossible man who loved him straight back. And yet.

The soulmate question.

Magnus had seen a mark on the left side of Alec’s ribs, the first time they’d made love. It fit in with the rest of his runes, stark black, but it didn’t look like any rune he’d seen before. It was almost like a lowercase a, but with an embellished tail, and a circle over the top.

He would have asked then, but Alec pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Beautiful,” Alec murmured. “I’ll tell you every day until you believe it.”

“It might – _ah_ – it might take a while,” Magnus whispered back.

“That’s okay. I don’t mind.”

And the strange rune slipped his mind, to be replaced with only Alec for a night.

Then things sort of went to hell, and it wasn’t until after they’d confessed their love that Magnus spotted the strange rune again as Alec was dressing for work. Alec was rushing around, in no small part to them having spent the morning entangled in the duvet and each other; Magnus found he couldn’t summon a single ounce of regret as he sipped his tea.

But, curiosity built and eventually got the better of Magnus.

“Alexander,” he called out as Alec began to step through the portal Magnus had made. Alec hummed through his mouthful of toast, looking back, but Magnus waved him off.

“I’ll text you,” he said. It wouldn’t do to distract Alec in a portal and have him end up in Siberia, or something.

_Alexander, that rune on your side_

_By your heart_

_What does it mean? I’ve never seen it before._

_It’s my soulmate mark, it just looks like a rune_

_Oh,ok_

_You okay?_

_Yes, darling. Just curious_

_okay. I love you_

Magnus knew he’d fallen for Alec far too quickly; his defences crumbling in the face of earnest smiles and bright long-lashed eyes and honest words. He could hardly help it – Alec had been a lot of things Magnus had hoped for without any kind of pretence on either of their parts. They simply _worked,_ and Alexander loved him back, and it… it may not even be enough.

Because Alec had a soulmate out there, and it wasn’t Magnus. It could never be Magnus.

He put a brave face on; attended all his meetings and saw clients without betraying the cloud eating away at his heart and mind, until the evening found him without distractions, nursing a glass of whisky in his own loft.

“Hey, Magnus?” Alec called out, pushing open the front door with his recently given key. Magnus didn’t respond, too lost in thought, until Alec came around the back of his armchair, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Magnus startled.

“Alexander! You’re early,” he exclaimed, standing far too quickly in order to kiss Alec on the cheek.

“It’s 9pm,” Alec said, accepting the kiss with a frown.

“It is? Oh, too late to go out for food then, we’ll have to order in. Or I’ll cook! You must be famished.” Magnus waved his hand nonchalantly, heading towards the kitchen without breaking his speech or indeed, making any eye contact.

“I came over to see if you were alright. You haven’t responded to any messages today and even if you’re busy, it’s not like you. Are you… you know… okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine, my dear. Now, drink first? Or dinner first? I alw-“

“ _Magnus._ ”

Alec’s firm, yet pleading tone cut deeper than Magnus had expected it to, and he halted in his tracks, shoulders dropping as though their strings had been cut. He exhaled slowly, turning around to face Alec, stood tall in the centre of the room.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” Alec said, quietly.

“If you promise to hear me out?” Alec nodded. “It’s about… it’s to do with soulmates. I don’t – _can’t –_ have a soulmate. While it is possible for warlocks, my lineage is… it means it is physically impossible. And you have one anyway. Alexander, if you… if you found your soulmate, and if they were… if your connection with him was of a romantic nature, I would never hold it against you, and I want you to know that, okay? You deserve that connection, and I- I-”

Magnus had noticed but hadn’t fully comprehended Alec moving towards him during his speech until he was stood barely a foot away, his eyes soft in a way that reminded him of when Magnus’s glamour had first dropped around him. Alec reached out for the glass still in Magnus’s clutches, gently setting it aside and replacing it with his own hand.

“Magnus,” he said, voice gentle. “I promise you, it’s okay, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“I will not be the thing that stands between you and that potential, Alexander. I won’t do that to you.”

“No, you’re not listening. You won’t be because my soulmate is platonic, and it’s Izzy. Izzy is my soulmate, Magnus. That’s one of the reasons why Jace and I became parabatai, because then the three of us were linked through me. Look-“ Alec used the hand not holding Magnus’s and began unbuttoning his shirt clumsily.

“It’s getting remarkably easier to get you naked,” Magnus murmured, making jokes despite being still somewhat dazed. Trapped within his own insecurities, he hadn’t really dwelled on Alec having a platonic soulmate, his mind too eager to rip itself apart and bring him down.

Alec grinned at him, shrugging off one shoulder of the shirt. “You see? It’s a lowercase a, and a lowercase i. That’s what it means.”

“Ah. I fear I have made myself a bit of a fool.”

“No,” Alec shook his head, before leaning in to press a kiss to Magnus’s lips. “You’ve just been through more than most, than I can even begin to understand. But, Magnus – you know what this means for us?”

Magnus quirked an eyebrow at him.

“It means the universe doesn’t decide for us our fate. It means that while the universe has decided that Izzy and I choose each other, and protect each other - I get to decide, with all my, my heart, and my soul? I chose you. I’m choosing you, Magnus. And it means that you can choose me too, if you want.”

A tear escaped Magnus’s eye, his glamour slipping away with it. Alec raised a hand and wiped it away, and Magnus smiled for the first time since he’d learnt of the soulmark’s existence. His other hand, the one not still holding Alec’s, pressed over the bare skin above Alec’s heart, his palm spreading and feeling its steady beat.

“I love you,” Alec whispered.

“I love you too,” Magnus whispered back, and leaned into Alec.

As they held each other in the opening to Magnus’s kitchen, the only light from the outside city, Magnus revelled in what it was like to feel _chosen_ by someone for no reason other than because they _wanted_ to choose him.

If he was being totally honest, Magnus thought it felt a little like Javanese edelweiss, finally in bloom.


End file.
